Al Franken, my favourite ex SNL alumni, is officially ahead in the official recount. It still has to be officially decided, and likely the GOP will attempt some sort of challenge, but for now it's still pretty kewl.
Arise Senator Al Franken.
Al Franken, my favourite ex SNL alumni, is officially ahead in the official recount. It still has to be officially decided, and likely the GOP will attempt some sort of challenge, but for now it's still pretty kewl.
Arise Senator Al Franken.
Stephen King said in On Writing that the prospective writer had to read way more than they write. That they should be constantly reading so as to improve their knowledge of the craft.
He has a point.
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Apparently the Catholic church believes that the pill, you know the thing the ladies use to avoid being sprogged up, is a major cause for men's infertility because girl's wee wee gets into the water.
Here's the ABC report repeated in full (from here).
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Due to an inadvertent battery drain of the old car, I had to cruise around town and charge it up.
I was cruising around the back end of this here fair burg when I remembered thrill hill.
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I like to happily declare when I have done something for the first time that year. 'First Diet Coke of the year!', 'First vomit of the year!' and so forth.
Well, today, I went to the bathroom. And I don't mind saying that I laid the most splendid stool - the first of the year.
Read more »
The fucking laptop I bought for $200 from someone at work died - the keyboard likes to put 1s or 2s in place of half the alphabet and now the DVD/CD rom drive is fucked.
And ... on this here desktop the internet connection speed is at 50 kps - if that - and I have broadband. I'd call Optus (yes, we're still with those fuckers), except their FAQ simply blames my PC and their dodgy Indian techie named "Steve" will say the same. Read more »
I have to admit when I saw the first season, which consisted of many of the British scripts re-touched, I thought 'the creamed corn tastes like creamed crap'.
But ... once the US series got into its own territory. Wow. Top notch first class comedy. It's as good as Arrested Development and 30 Rock. And ... like those two, both are sans laugh track / studio audience. Read more »
I'm a big fan of their work. I've been listening to Open Slather a lot lately. On it, there's this song called "Apparently", which is their self-described "political" song.
In the intro, Tripod mention that some people think they don't know about issues and that, in fact, they have been accused of being ... 'cock-spanks'. Read more »
At my school, there was this guy in my year named Peter Reynolds. He was an average bloke, one of the motorbike fan kids who at recess would impersonate their favourite bike by doing air handlebars and flicking their foot out like they were doing a dirt-burn out and saying 'vaunton'.
"vaunton" was the sound effect place holder for said burn out. Read more »
I have IBS. I think I've mentioned this. Going to the toilet is a sometime painful experience.
I've discovered ways of making it more painful.
A) Have the toilet in the bathroom itself - make the bathroom expansive. That way there's lots of space around you and you feel weird. Read more »
I borrowed a flat bed trolley from another section today. They were having their morning tea clustered around a circle table when I tried to muscle the trolley past them. It banged the table.
Cue laughter. Read more »
Tired of you and want to make a change? Want that ego boost you'd get as an intergalactic dictator? Read more »
My toothbrush can get a little manky. I don't wash it clean. Well I do - the head - just not the shaft. As a result sometimes if I don't wash the shaft, the toothpaste slurry that runs down it can coat said shaft, then it hardens into a kind of crust.
It looks pretty gross. But, I'm a guy. So it doesn't matter to me. Read more »
Recently we bought one of those metal frame over the toilet shelving things. We've put books and mags on it. When you're seated you can reach up over your head, feel around like a blind man meeting someone for the first time, grab a tome, and pull it on down for a read whilst waiting for some movement in your movements.
As an IBS of the stuck kind, it can often be a while.
Anyway, lately I've noticed an additional benefit of the toilet shelving. Read more »
Two words.
Gob Knobbler
That is all.
I'm moving area within my org soon, and spending my time packing etc and getting ready for the shift.
A while back I volunteered to perform an admin oversight role. It sits separate to normal chain of command. Basically it's to make sure people do the right thing the right way. Read more »
I'm a bog watcher, in the sense I check that my leavings have left.
Tell me arm chair psychs out there. Is it disturbing that when I just checked said leavings that my first thought was 'wow, my turd fully looks like my cock.'?
I'm going to have a punt on a yes ...
Then, is it icing on the disturbing cake that I went and told the world about it? Read more »
Well, I had my bout of farewells this week given my soon to be departing on being transferred to another area.
We had an Xmas function that was supposed to be a combined farewell with the end of year festivities. Except ... it wasn't. D, whose also going, didn't get farewelled either. But ... he did get his lunch comped (the tradition in public service land is people cover your farewell food costs at your final hurruh) - and I had to pay for mine. Which was a little annoying. Read more »
From: L
Sent: Friday, 12 December 2008
To: (all staff in our branch) Read more »
I've been doing some mailing today and ever since A moved desks, and took our envelopes with him, I've been raiding C's.
It was the third bout of my envelope pilfering, and I felt the need to go beyond a simple thank-you.
'Thank you for allowing me to access your treasured envelopes ... ' I started, somewhat grandiosely.
I then paused.
Read more »I've been a bit meh the past few days, and haven't felt much like doing much. Thank-you IBS. I am at home today eating fibre by the mouthful - like when Rick, aka The People's Poet, attempted to commit suicide by gobbing laxatives (he thought they were something else) in the Young Ones.
Constipation meets farty pain isn't much fun to endure. Or, indeed, be around if in the danger zone.
Do you have that song in your head now? I know I do. Read more »
Me (in kitchen): Oh fuck it.
TheWife (when I get to the study): What was that about?
Me: Oh, I hate trying to get my Mp3 out of my pocket when the wallet's in there because it gets stuck under it. It's annoying.
TheWife: ... gay ...
Pwned.
They're still holding the flame high for their vanquished preferred party of choice.
I heard Glenn Milne being interviewed on ABC News Radio this morning. The snitty Milne complained that the comparison of the sins of Gillard Vs Bishop were manifestly unjust. Read more »
Saw it tonight with the Bevester.
Loved it. Much like Casino Royale in terms of theme, style of action etc. Adios quips and gadgets. Hello hard core parquet style non stop action.
If you like action films that have a thinking component to it - or, indeed, acting - then you will like this.
Still ... probably should not have bought two choc tops.
I was on the bus today and noticed one of those garden centre places that so infest the ACT had the above sign (minus the eh?) proudly adorning their place of business. Read more »
In the medieval world, europe at any rate, trades were dominated by guilds. They determined the rules by which they worked, the skills taught, and who got accreditation. To be a master of a craft took a lot of years of work, creation of a masterwork item (that other masters recognised as being of sufficient quality), and likely some buttering up of the senior types as well.
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Don't you hate it when you're firing off fully sick farts, and you're lying down, you rip one off, then sit up - right through the fecal tinged gas you just pumped out?
Errrrgghhhh.
It's probably the three beers I had for brunch.
According to the SMH the World's oldest person has died. Except she's not the world's oldest person. She was the world's oldest person. So shouldn't the header be Once was world's oldest person dies?
Anyway, I was attracted to this slice of the article. Read more »
Recently I was sent on a training day.
In the public service training risks being exceedingly boring. I think that's because so much of what we do is statutory / compliance / finance / records management in focus. The engine of bureaucracy needs its parts running in synch. And we need to learn to be good little cogs and sprockets.
Some stand out moments. Read more »
David Bowie. Labyrinth
... or some other mentally affecting drug.
For some reason their stores are selling masses of Arachnophobia DVDs and water skiing ropes.
I shit you not. Piles of this stuff. What the fuck are they on and when is Aldi going to sell that too?
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January 19, 2009, Washington DC; In the dying days of the George W Bush presidency, attention has turned to the pardons that Bush had given as one of his final acts as the 43rd president.
Unsurprisingly the President has pardoned himself, Dick Cheney, and all other members of his administration, living and dead. In addition, all members of his father's presidency, and any other Republican preceding him. Read more »
I had no idea Dickipedia existed. Gold. I'm reading the entry on Elisabeth Hasselbeck of the show the View, who like so many people nowadays, got her celeb start on a reality show.
Um ... why isn't numerologist spelled numberologist? Why drop the b?
Anyway, today Man Hands laid his hands on me twice. Happy pats they were. I think he's just a touch giving dude. Of course the vigorous tummy rub was a touch too far, but still. His heart's in the right place I think.
Today he showed me a purchase from his Xtian book club or shop or what have you.
Here's a picture. Read more »
I like to think at work, if I big note myself to others they can detect my sarcasm or self mockery. I don't think I am great. Sure, I recognise I am skilled at my core job - but then I've been in it a long time. I only talk that up when people are trying to drag me down (as noted in a previous post).
For some reason my colleague and favourite desk bud A, and moi, have acquired somewhat of a rep as IT fix it people when it comes to 'how do you do this?' with microsoft products. Read more »
I know that women cop a raw deal when it comes to sex. I think it comes from their gate keeper capability. After-all they determine who has access to their lady parts and the manner in which access is granted.
So a guy who can successfully woo multiple ladies is a legend. Where a girl who's all too ready to allow access to her bits is considered morally suspect.
Ladies, I hear you. And I think that sucks the soggy SAO. Read more »
Watching it now.
Fucking hell these people make my skin crawl.
If indeed ... they are people. Maybe ... pod people?
Heirlooms, the best ones, look good, have "meaning", and are useful. It's all very well having an Opium pipe from 1920s Japan but unless you bong on with sweet lady O, it just gathers dust.
In the 70s my parents bought some left over furniture from a closing down kindy. I think that's what happened. This included four sturdy wooden chairs. Read more »
As a chubbo certain things happen that don't happen to normal people.
For example we can't wear T-Shirts with humorous slogans because our chubb will distort the words and people fixate on that instead of the amusing message. Read more »
Apparently the Bratz empire had a whacking great gob of justice spurt in their face when rivals Mattel were awarded a cool 100 million US for copyright violation.
Check out the google hosted AP story here. Read more »
Actually, it wasn’t Andrew Bolt. But clearly this person had taken a leaf from Andrew Bolt’s Big Boys Bumper Book of Leg Splaying.
I was walking back into my building and past the downstairs café when in the corner I couldn’t but help notice this person’s sitting stance. Read more »
My parents like to play Freecell. It's cute. I think my mum is trying to work her way through all 40,000 games. She's up to like 801.
Last night I noticed she still had a game open. So I completed it for her.
Tonight, again, a game left open.
Read more »
We were playing UNO and my mum didn't believe me that if the person going out plays a draw card then the person who would have received it still has to pick up and the points go to the winner.
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Check out this SMH story about a recent lotto winner in the states. The story's hook is that her husband had bought the ticket, but died before it came up as a US10 million big winner.
This is the bit that irks me.
Read more »
My nieces are pretty kewl. They're 8ish and 6ish. Yes, I should know specifics. I am a slack Uncle.
We were playing post lunch New Years day. I was wearing dodgy slip off thong like sandals - and socks - which meant any speed greater than walking meant a danger of face plantage.
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So in the dying moments of the old year, we get to assess what went right / what went wrong in 08. Like a crap newshow with clips I could revisit some of these moments as highlights - which hopefully have a spectacular crash sequence in them - only because it is spectacular footage as opposed to being of any actual news merit.
But I won't.
Read more »
On the launch of the good ship HMAS Own Place Read more »
In the SMH they have ad boxes. I misread the weightloss one as 'Winehouse tips.' So what could some of them be?
Beehives are kewl
Tatts are kewl
Drugs are kewl
Dental work - schmental work
Don't go to rehab
(Fire away blog punters)
TheNoo's elder parents (aka grandparents) bought him some bath toys to use whilst at their place. They kindly let us take them home. They were of the colourful rubber squeeze variety in the shape of transport items (boats, cars etc) and had jolly cartoon visages - kind of like Thomas the Tank Engine. Read more »
Back home. Thank gawd. I don't mind staying away from home, depending on the environment where you're staying, but it's always good to be back in your own space where you're Charles in Charge of your own damn me.
But ... off again soon for a bit to see another slice of family-dom. Takes a deep breath...
Apologies for the lack of postings. I was in an internet-accessible unfriendly locality.
I am a hatman. I don't mean that I am made of hats, or have hat based super-powers (which, let's face it would be pretty pissweak as far as powers went unless your opponents all wear hats and one of your sub powers of the hat themed powers is to lower the brim of other hats over people's eyes. It a hat dominated society, like America in the 1950s, I could see that would be of benefit however). Read more »
The other day we were in the car and a story was on the radio about the Brooklyn Bridge. Specific mention was made of the number of people that died during its construction.
'27,' I said proudly, before the presenter. Yes, I know, it's pretty nerdy to know that. I was right too (OTB*).
At any rate theWife then asked why they died. Specifically she said the following. Read more »
I'm largely done RE where I used to work, and am pretty much ready to start in the new section of my work.
As I was taking my last box of crap away I realised I probably wouldn't see my former boss (and boss+) again before I start in the new area. Read more »
Still packing at work. Shifting to the new office shortly. People keep coming past to see how the packing is going. Or rather they walk past and ask how it's going, since I am on an arterial route through the work stations and they're doing that polite small talk thang. Read more »
As you get older, you start to sag. I know this. I've never been blessed with a hot bod. So my sagging was minimal anyway thanks to an apple shaped tum.
But lately other bits have sagged.
For the first time, as best as I can tell, my balls now hang past my dick.
Apparently super old balls can get to nearly equidistant between knees and penis. Read more »
See the Dec 9 show where he takes on Mike Huckabee over gay marriage here.
I can't be fucked linking to it, but you can go to You Tube to get the footage. Some Iraqi journalist pegging both his shoes as Pres Bush as an Arab world fuck you for all the shit Bush has done.
I have to wonder though. As Bush ducked the first shoe ... did he think it was an accident and it was only after the other shoe was thrown that he knew something had gone wrong?
Exercise and I have never really gotten on. When I was about nine I think I kissed sport adios courtesy of water on the knees. That, plus eating an entire block of cheese, Homer style, in one hit (once) + four rounds of honey toast each arvo after school, ballooned me into the man I have become. I've essentially been obese - in various gradations of porkery - ever since puberty. Read more »
With my soon to be going I had to hoob into work to have a crack at filing. I made some harsh choices and a lot of it is going into the bin. Hooray!
I decided to crank out some fauves (courtesy of the Beve who hooked me up with their goodness) out of the PC which helped it along.
I also took my shoes off. Read more »
'Hey check out all that tinsel ... it looks like a feather boa on a stripper ... I just want to rub it along my shoulders ... then perhaps some towling between the legs action ... but then you'd impregnate your sensitive parts with tinsel shards ... and have to go to casualty ... "I was naked and stepped out of the shower" ... but that doesn't explain the condom'.
TheWife and I, tired of scales in the house that did us wrong, today unilaterally decided to 'fuck dat shit off'.
We binned them.
Take that metric devices!
No more will I pull out a scale and make myself feel bad. It's like Sarah said, it's the eating well and exercising that matters more health wise.
So area man following her advice.
When I started in the Public Service it was off the IQ test thingy anyone could sit. Many, many years now gone.
I moved to Canberra to go to uni and registered my score here. Towards the tail end of my full time uni year I was recruited off the score only and duly inducted into the Commonwealth public service. Read more »
George (from The Burning")
George and Jerry are at the coffee shop. George is discussing trying to be funny in work meetings.
George: I had 'em, Jerry. They loved me.
Jerry: And then?
Read more »
Maybe it's your perfect ponytail? Or the budding of your sideburns? Or the shy smile you have when you see me?
But I do like going through your checkout. What's that? Three days in a row? Twice on Sunday.
You know we have a connection. You know it! Don't make me wait out in the carpark for you...
And ... so forth. Read more »
My boss, who recently traded me off to another area in the org, bounded in to my work station area and asked if I could be gone from the section by the above time. It was his hilarious way of asking me to organise it so my move to the new building happens before I go on Xmas leave instead of after it.
Ho ho ho. Most droll.
I feel so valued. I especially love it how they told me I did a good job with the last report that went out. Read more »
I am easily bored at work. Some say it's sign of genius. Others - ADD*. Being easily bored means I am likely to do things or say things that entertain only moi - or possibly my desk buddy A.
A brief highlight Read more »
My gigantism inflicted temp boss has ended his temp bossery and has departed my fertile fields for another section of the org.
As irony would have it he's off to work for Backy McStab*, and will be in fact working close by to Buckwheat.
May god have mercy on his soul. Read more »
Newspapers and similar are gradually moving online. There will come a day when the mightiest of the dead tree efforts will fade away for an e-presence only. That day is not yet but it is coming soon.
When doing layout the graphics guys would factor in content for placement of images. You know, to prevent mistakes like this from happening. Read more »
I have IBS. IBS is not a specific disease with a set cause and effect. It's a condition where a lot of the symptoms coincide and can have a variety of triggers.
IBS when it comes to the how it leaves the area has two typical types of egress - Poppy the Sloppers or Nigel the Nuggets. Read more »
Finally saw Hancock. I liked it a lot. Solid plot. Some kewl twists. Awesome special effects.
But....
SPOILER
From the Dikipedia entry for Mel Gibson Read more »
Take some Coles Natural Vanilla Icecream - best damn Vanilla icecream in the country.
Add a spoonful of brown sugar.
That is all.
It's been a while since a TW was bought out, but it's time to dust off this bad boy and apply it t Read more »
Here in the public service we love our post it notes. I assume that's a broad appeal thing across the white collar world. Though I like to think I am not a white collar worker since I tend to not wear ties and if I can get away with it, collared shirts of a different hue. Indeed, polo shirts. Read more »
At work I tend to volunteer for things. Yes, I have learned my lesson. Never again will I take a step forward when others take a step back.
One thing I volunteered for was assisting with admin stuff. By and large it means granting access to things, filing, signing off on forms, witnessing docs and so forth. Read more »
Lawyer: Your Honor, even though I've proven my client's innocence, I'd
still like to call Freddy Quimby to the stand. So that we can
all bask in his gentle decency.
[Freddy stands up, grins winningly at audience, takes stand] Read more »
In some computer games characters you semi control will have amusing phrases they like to bleat out when you cursor click on them. Baldur's Gate I was no exception.
One of my favourite recruit-able characters was Xzar, one of the first you meet that will join your party. His time worn phrase was "Stop touching me", delivered in a girlish falsetto. Read more »
Actually, it's meant to be 'Where's the puff?' - but I liked pugg better.
You kids, and your music, are probably too young to remember the heady days when VHS was king. DVD was but the glint in the technician's eye in the 80's. The rich people who bought VHS when it was first out got these monster sized efforts that top loaded - kind of the equiv of the house brick sized mobile phone. Eventually even us plebs got a VHS. Read more »
1. Elmo Wall
The new scary animatronic Elmo is out just in time for gorging-on-toys day (amen tm). In Target they built a display wall of them. The kewl thing is you can trigger him (press his left foot) to activate, and you can get about eight going at once.
Treis creepy.
Hilariously, one of the "speech bubbles" the packaging has is "Oh boy Elmo's arms are getting tired!" Read more »
The family car, drive-way; Local mother, name unknown, today purchased KFC for her family then drove the meal home only to engender tragedy when she stopped.
'Mum for some bizarre reason drove with the fucking food all laid out on the passenger seat next to her,' said annoying boy child. <
