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At Least I’m Not Jack the Ripper … Or Tony Abbott!

March 27, 2015 - 21:19 -- Admin

I noticed a certain pattern . . .

OK, I’m a little slow, I know that just about everyone else noticed it a long, long time ago. But it just became obvious to me, because . . . well, I’m not always paying attention. I used to pay attention, but Tony Abbott convinced that it was something like the carbon tax and wasn’t worth paying.

Anyway, I’ve noticed that the Liberal Party have this way of avoiding responsibility for anything they’ve done, or haven’t done with this simple catch phrase:

“At least we’re not the Labor Party!”

OK, they don’t always say it so many words. And sometimes they even use  things that aren’t the Labor Party on those rare occasions that it’s appropriate to compare themselves to a foreign dictatorship, rather than the Labor Party.

You know the sort of thing, It’s like when some stops you in the street and tells you that they’re not carrying a weapon but they’d like you to hand over your mobile phone and wallet anyway, because they can punch you really, really hard and hey, isn’t it better that they’re doing this in such a nice way, I mean at least they’re not an armed robber!

But I noticed this pattern with the Liberals the other day, when Tony Abbott said that a ratio of sixty percent debt to GDP would be a good result when compared to what the Labor Party would have done. Or rather, when he didn’t say it. Because he assured us all in Parliament that he never said it. Unfortunately, he was cut off before he could explain who it was, who looked so much like the PM that he managed to fool all those media people who filmed him and reported the story.

Still, I guess that the media are easily fooled, so I’m happy to believe that it wasn’t him. But even if it wasn’t, the point remains: “At least we haven’t/aren’t/didn’t/won’t . . . ” Strike out what’s not applicable and fill in the gaps. 

Yes, I know that they’ve been doing it even since Fraser was PM. Like I said, I’m a bit slow sometimes . . .

As Fraser and Howard argued at the time: “We know that unemployment and inflation are both twice what they were when Whitlam left office, but that’s because we’re fixing the Oil Shock that was a direct result of the ALP . . . Oh no wait, that’s nothing to do with what happened in Australia when it happened and everything to do with why things haven’t quite gone as we said they would, but trust us, at least we’re not Labor . . . ”

It worked for a few years in the seventies. Then along came Bob. He had a reputation as a fixer. Sort of like Christopher Pyne, except that other people said it about Bob, whereas the only person I’ve heard called Pyne a fixer is Christopher himself.

Of course, I think it should be mandatory for all journalists to stop the politicians speaking at some point and say that we all know the problem, so can you tell us the solution. If the politician says that electing us will solve the problem, we should have legislation that compels a third party to interrupt the journalist and tell the politician that simply changing government or sticking with the current government has failed to fix the following problems:

  1. Health
  2. Drugs
  3. Indigenous issues such as lower life expectancy and higher incarceration rates.
  4. The Cost of Living (arguable)
  5. Politicians raising money by giving access to people who donate to their party. (Except for Joe Hockey. Joe Hockey never did that.)
  6. Work/life balance.
  7. Other (I’m sure this list could grow longer than you’d have time to read if I kept going, so you can just add the one you think I’ve missed)

At this point, the person interrupting the journalist should be given the power to tell the politician that he or she is required to spell out in detail exactly how their coming to power will actually fix things, and until they do – without using slogans or simply asserting “We have a plan” . . . or simply saying that the other side is useless so you have no option but to elect us – they’ll be banned from all further media interviews.

Look, I know that it sounds a bit fascist, but as someone said to me the other day: “FASCISM RULES, OK!!!”

I didn’t argue.

Well, what can you say when somebody speaks in Capitals.

Particularly Canberra. When somebody speaks in that Capital, you have to listen. Because well, there’s not much else to do in Canberra, what with all the job cuts. It’s got so that not even the PM can stay there more than a couple of nights at a time, because even the Lodge is shut . . .

OK, this may not be the most informative post I’ve ever written. Nor the most interesting . . .

But at least I’m not Andrew Bolt.

 

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