There is ONE WEEK TO GO until Game of Thrones returns, as we can all marvel in the visual spectacle, the compelling drama and the taut thrillingness of Jon Snow's abs (and everything else).
To mark the occasion, I have written a little ditty celebrating my joy at the upcoming Season Seven.
To the tune of the 1998 classic, One Week by the Barenaked Ladies:
It is one week 'til my favourite showHits my TV againThank you HBOOne week 'til I get to seeThe Mother of Dragons act out my fantasiesOne week til my dear Jon SnowDeals with knowing more than nothing that he didn"t knowYesterday, it was agonyBut now it"s only one week "til winter is coming
Hold me now and see Darth CerseiWith brother JaimeWorking out their giant map planThey are in deep at the KeepWith enemies ready to sweepThey like the Mountain"Cause he"s now a giant zombie man
Hot like a dragon gotta face factsThe throne"s a contractAnd Cersei thinks she"s a playerBut that fortune from a frog witchCould be a real bitchAnd Jaime is a Kingslayer
Gonna make a turn to DragonstoneI yearn to see Dany return and make 'em burnCause she"s the finest f***ing Queen BeeShe torched the Masters at MeereenLike a real machine it was a sceneMore schnikt and mean than WolverineShe"s so amazing, manI wish I had her C.V.
How can I help it if I think you"re handsome when you"re deadTrying hard not to cry at your sweet headI"m the kinda gal who worships a junk moundCan"t understand what that is?Here"s some backgroundI have a tendency to wear my love on my sleeveI have a history of stalking Jon Snow
It is one week 'til he looks at meDead no more but still f***ing deadlyOne week 'til he tackles meWith his honour and poise, he"s so f***ing broodyIt is one week 'til the afternoonWhen the Night"s Watch commander causes me to f***ing swoonYesterday I just dreamed in aweAbout how I just might get my hands on his Longclaw
That dick at the diner knows The Hound likes chickenBrienne beat him up, but he just kept tickin"Helped by but couldn"t help a clericHe then met BericAnd got back in with the BrotherhoodLike Arya Stark he"s got a purposeHang out with ThorosLike chillies, gonna set the world on fireWith flaming swords they"re on edge nowForm a wedge nowAnd you just might get out of a quagmire
Gotta ring my bell at WinterfellSee where Ramsay fell and hadHis own starving dogs eat his face and chew on his hamstringGotta get a glare with Mormont bearCause Lyanna"s stare has got the loom and the lords may beKeen to hail a new king
How can I help it if I think Sansa is just the best?Trying hard not to say she"s like BaelishI"m the kinda gal who loves Tormund GiantsbaneCan"t understand what I mean?It"s that maneHe has the tendency to fight hard and bite off earsHe has a history of ogling Brienne
It is one week 'til the Onion KnightWill know if banning Melisandre was rightOne week and we"ll see it"s trueTyrion will drink just like we thought he was gonna doOne week 'til I get to seeMy favourite man bun and abs staring back at meYesterday, it was fantasyBut my dreams have come back now as my reality
My dreams have come back now as my realityDon"t judge me please, I swear I"m not crazyOK, maybe, I"m a little bit crazy