The Donald is visiting the UK and has had me in stitches a whole day. He’s clearly been having a chat with Nigel Farage about how to handle the Conservatives and has shown them up in spectacular fashion.
Theresa May, bless her, was of course in an impossible position. She undoubtedly loathes the Donald and yet had to try and woo him into that mythical trade deal that the Brexiteers have been promising the UK would get with the US if only they gave up on their European friends. So she put on a dress and ‘did her duty’ by raising the issue of a favourable trade deal with the guy who just launched a trade war against her.
The Donald must have been wearing a big grin at this clumsy attempt to suck up to him. He was only in the UK to add to his collection of photos with royalty because he likes the idea of ruling by divine right. And now the host is begging him for a special favor! If not a ‘yes’ to a deal, then could he at least give May a ‘maybe’ when talking to the press?
The response was hilarious. He announced that Boris Johnson would make a great prime minister instead of Theresa, and he told the UK press that there was no point talking to Britain whilst it still had any other friends in Europe. No, only if Britain gave up all its allies and was completely at the mercy of the US, would he entertain the idea of a trade deal.
What a slap-down! It is like telling someone who invites you to dinner that someone else should own the house and they’ll only deal with you if you’re in the gutter on your own. If you believe that you’ll be taken more seriously if you have no friends left, you’ll believe anything, so it’s not even an attempt at being serious. It is purely dismissive, which is very funny in the midst of pomp and ceremony.
In some sense, of course, May and her government had it coming. The whole sycophantic ‘special relationship with the US’ story that the UK politicians and media have been running for decades shows such a lack of self-respect that it deserves this kind of slap down. When you behave like a slave, don’t be surprised if you’re kicked like a dog.
Poor Theresa though. The Germans and French in that regard are showing her how to deal with the Donald: you ridicule him and meanwhile ignore whatever he wants from you because you know that in the end, the US needs its allies at least as much as they need the US (and with Trump, the US is not going to find other allies, is it?). There is thus, for instance, no way that the Europeans will increase their defense budgets anytime soon, and they simply laugh at his claims. Have a look at how the German press reacts to the Donald: