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A royal trigger

December 4, 2018 - 23:00 -- Admin

I'd accidentally gotten hooked on The Crown then got to the episode about schooling—the sentencing of a child to an institution that is in no way applicable to that child. In this case Prince Charles being sent to a horror show in the highlands where cold showers and dawn runs were the norm. He hated it; every year. So I got triggered. I got triggered seeing his shitty school experience in mine; of being a square peg in an institution for round people and suffering as a result. I got angry and stopped watching it. Then got angry again when I finished the ep. What I think pissed me off the most is his mum gave a shit; she wanted him to go elsewhere but deferred to her husband's decision to put the man into his apparently weak son. My mum was fully on board my distress which included physical, mental and sexual abuse.I told them at the time and they either didn't believe me or presumed I drew the aggro that caused it. Private schools that allegedly make boys into men make for shitty men; egotistical scumbags if they're athletic or fractured shells if not. I'm a Humpty Dumpty of spider-webbed cracks from breathtaking cruelty gussied up as elite education.It's been thirty years since I took myself off to a state school and at least had my final teen years a scratch less fucked. But the damage that fucking place did to me, damage caused by my parents' deliberate, malicious decision to send me to that place still boils my fucking blood—especially in now knowing my shit body was my mother's fault. I'll never get over that; that an institution took pride in putting its boot on my neck and squeezing down as hard as they could.I didn't break. But I remember; I will always remember and to never forget means to never forgive. And I am just fine with that.