Oz Blog News Commentary

Rogue Ball One

April 7, 2020 - 17:28 -- Admin

The wiki for cabin fever suggests riposte by engaging with nature where able so I had set forth on my electric pushie to enjoy being outside and still at least six feet from any other person.Here's the thing about balls; they age. They age and they keep descending like a pendulum on a broken grandfather clock. Down, down, down, down, down.I switched to harry high boxer-type undershorts so it means my testicles are no longer lovingly cupped by folds of snug fabric but dangle at threat from dangers below. In this case it was the neck of the electric pushie's saddle when my left ball got squashed between seat and thigh.When you cop a hit to the balls there is a pause, a pause for the body to collect itself then report the damage done, like when when damage control stats get yelled at you when your spaceship is raked by enemy fire ("Shields at twenty-two per cent!").The message came back a moment later, like when you're waiting for a report to get auto-emailed to you, and the jist was "ow" but not "yargh!"But it put paid to tooling around on the electric pushie—and all those words make sense to an Australian—and I had to glide all the way back because to pump a pedal meant to brush a sensitive scrote and elements within.I've noted this before but when men come of age they're told the basic stuff you get for being an adult. I don't recall any middle-aged or older man telling me that not only well I get super long hairs shooting out of my ear or their rims but that balls will keep dropping and become hazardous to your health. Also at 148 your prostate explodes for like 10d6 fire damage (DC 15 Con / Fort save for half). I get that the price paid "to fuck" is to eventually die because fucking has no purpose other than being awesome and propagating the spawn. Though you can't live in 'em, you can only bud them and jog them on.  However the price paid for living beyond your normative spawn begetting years, with the average paleo lifespan being 33, but why do the balls keep having to drop? It's just the icing on a sensitive overly exposed testicle cake. Darwin fuckers.