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Extract From Transcript Of Disciplinary Committee Meeting Of International Cricket Council: Questions To Cameron Bancroft

March 26, 2018 - 20:47 -- Admin

In relation to this, this and this

Committee: “Mr. Bancroft. When did you come to realise you had a ream of 32-Grit Industrial Grade Glass Shard Sandpaper concealed in your box ?

Bancroft: Errrmm. When Smithy took the new ball ??

Darren Lehmann: NO NO NO !

Committee: Could Counsel Assisting please relieve Mr. Lehmann of his walkie-talkie ? Thankyou. So. Mr. Bancroft. Prior to the 87th over of the innings you were completely unaware of the Silicon Graphite Hardware products concealed on your person ?

Bancroft: Errmmm. Yes. Well some of them.

Committee: Here is a picture of you affixing an oxy-acetylene blowtorch to your helmet visor.

Bancroft: (Confidently). Oh yes. That’s Boof’s second-hand…

Lehmann: (Frantically through Plexiglass barrier): NO NO NO !

Committee: Could Counsel Assisting please administer the Elephant Tranquiliser ?

Lehmann: NO NO NO !

Committee: Increase the dosage.

Lehmann: NO NO N..zzzzzz

Committee: Mr. Bancroft. Exhibit C.

Bancroft Errrmmmm…

Committee: The fire hydrant.

Bancroft: Errm. Lehmo ? … Lehmo ? … (Lapses into Catatonia)