P&I has obtained a copy of the confidential report to headquarters prepared by a recent intelligence gathering mission to Australia from Mars.
Your most esteemed and benevolent Excellencies
We have the honour to present the final report of our recent expedition to the Blue Planet, hereinafter referred to as Earth. Consistent with the expedition’s objectives, our report offers an assessment of the current civilisational status of earthlings and, in particular, whether the Greater Martian Cooperative Enterprise (GREMCEN) would benefit by now inviting Earth to join its councils.