“Can I have an espresso martini?” The young woman asked.
The waiter smiled, but it was a cruel and unusual smile.
“I can make you a martini,” he said. “Or I can make you an espresso. There is no way of combining those two things.”
And gentle reader he was right and she was wrong and you should be ashamed of yourselves for ever having ordered the red-headed stepchild of the cocktail world in the first place.