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Articles from Harrangue Man

Rage against the elderly machine

November 21, 2020 - 20:10 -- Admin

I got mad at my old laptop for not working even though it's over ten years old and at 97 per cent memory used. I had to send a stressful ping that I'd promised my future self I'd do and then now self had to do it and the very old machine would not co-operate.

I got so mad my partner hid behind a locked door. I don't blame her.


November 4, 2020 - 21:13 -- Admin

Four years ago we experienced going down the "wrong trouser leg of time" (1). Here we are and it's 2020 and what if we go down the wrong leg again? 

When Sean Connery died the first thought was that what a shame he died before he knew the result.Then what if his departure was sensibly timed? What if his Scottish senses were tingling and he was "Fuck this; I'm oot!"? because Trump was lettin' the tartan team doon?(2)

Toe-fingered the remote

November 2, 2020 - 21:36 -- Admin

(A testicle is harmed in this story, the identity is named near the end)

My body is shabby like and I don't like to move so I couldn't hand over the remote.

So I toe-fingered it across. Off went a sock, remote slotted 'tween bose and index then I reached out my foot.

I was proud of my work but at the height of my gloat my cat trod on a testicle.

It was the left one.

Trump has the COVID

October 3, 2020 - 17:15 -- Admin

So he has the COVID.  

UPDATE1: Didn't phase him but also no lessons learned; and he's holding superspreader events again. What does this mean? Who knows?! Honestly, he's survived more than many human being before us and you can't but help think you're a sprite in his first person adventure. 

I bet he will prosper from it. I don't know how, he just will. He's beaten everything else, why not this?!

Game of Thrones

October 3, 2020 - 16:26 -- Admin

Jesus, ant-whispering Christ, how much do we miss Game of Thrones?! I miss it SO much! I started re-watching it form the beginning back when my mum was dying and I do miss it so. 

Technically even an ant-whisper levels if Jesus applied the full Voice of God effect the ants would no longer be here. And that’s tough for the ants. Poor little fuckers 

No Richard Burton!

September 29, 2020 - 16:40 -- Admin

There is only one day of the week I am allowed to do Richard Burton impressions and that day is Wednesday, or Woden's Day, named for the one-eyed god, who, let's face it, was a bit shit given he only had one eye—what kind of greater god cannot regenerate an eye? 

Think about it, Norse Mythology. And I can hear there's a couple of giggling Gerties down the back. Enough of that, please. 

I'm three sheets to the wind, which, as I recall, is a a fair number of sheets.