I've added "Survivor" to my list of battle anthems and it had just started to play when I felt a little dizzy and rested my arms on the chair. Then I find myself lying on the floor having fallen backwards but my head protected from smacking concrete by the IKEA rug.
Articles from Harrangue Man
I was back that afternoon on the day we got home after ten days away and in the shed, it happened; I started a shed rant. I caught myself yelling as I typically do when home alone and letting these moments come and stopped at about three sentences into my non-rhythmic rap slam. But I freaked thewife out, and rightly so, because I had lapsed so quickly into that bad habit.But it's not for ever and these moments, their wish to erupt and the desire to do it will die away.
Dairy is grouse; cheese, milk, iced coffee, ice cream and cream loved by previous me. Then I got adult onset allergy and went dairy free. Then A2 milk products arrived and I found I could tolerate that.Then ... the allergy went away. And that is how it come to pass last night that I ate a cheese blessed whopper burger for the first time in about five years and as the motel didn't have much in the way of cutlery that I ate it with a tea spoon.
In the aftermath of events like the Vegas shooting it's the stories of the brave that fill me with hope.
We're on a trip to a place with theme parks. Where we are staying there are pools scattered across the compound with lots of fun elements for the kids.The trouble is that my PTSD flared flat out to the point where I can't even go to the pools within the complex because of the noise.I tried three times, going in on two and just being on escort for one.
Last night theboy wanted to watch a new series without seeing all the episodes of the previous series. I explained that he might miss things and plot development but he elected to just go back in time four eps before this new series to find out the main story arcs. He was the only one watching it. I pressed my point he should watch it from where he left on, in order, to not miss out and he told me off for guilt tripping him.He was right; I totally was.
As a man of middle-age my balls have dropped lower; there's so much ball skin you can fan it out like a bat wing. Which means my balls are now more likely to be hit by things that may hit you in the balls; it makes sense, the more ball surface area (from a saggy scrote) the more to hit.One day it was a paper plane—and yes it hurt, not much, but it did.
I've got fear of the dizzys now, those moments where you're standing and vertigo kicks in. It's a possible side-effect of going on high blood pressure medication for if on a day the meds have corrected too far and I'm experiencing a moment of low.I have to clutch to something when the dizzy spell comes and I am terrified of falling.
I had another sweatmare where I woke to find my sheets damp where the sweat collected between my legs.It was a melange of monsters I was fighting and though the substance of the dream fled on waking my brain remembered who they were.The danger now ahead are the space outs or loops where I'll be caught in dark reverie for chunks of time unless I actively fight the surge of yester pain.I'll do it; I always do. These wounds to my mind are always and forever but they will mostly heal with time.