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Articles from Harrangue Man

Trump has the COVID

October 3, 2020 - 17:15 -- Admin

So he has the COVID. What does this mean? Who knows?! Honestly, he's survived more than many human being before us and you can't but help think you;'e a sprite in his first person adventure. 

I bet he will prosper fropm it. I don't know how, he just will. He's beaten everything else, why not this?!

Game of Thrones

October 3, 2020 - 16:26 -- Admin

Jesus, ant-whispering Christ, how much do we miss Game of Thrones?! I miss it SO much! I started re-watching it form the beginning back when my mum was dying and I do miss it so. 

Technically even an ant-whisper levels if Jesus applied the full Voice of God effect the ants would no longer be here. And that;'s tough for the ants. Poor little fuckers 

No Richard Burton!

September 29, 2020 - 16:40 -- Admin

There is only one day of the week I am allowed to do Richard Burton impressions and that day is Wednesday, or Woden's Day, named for the one-eyed god, who, let's face it, was a bit shit given he only had one eye—what kind of greater god cannot regenerate an eye? 

Think about it, Norse Mythology. And I can hear there's a couple of giggling Gerties down the back. Enough of that, please. 

I'm three sheets to the wind, which, as I recall, is a a fair number of sheets. 

RoGged my old school

September 27, 2020 - 16:06 -- Admin

There are moments in life that are pretty sweet but among the sweetest is recognition of harm done. To complete the trifecta of insurance and payout with a successful Redress of Grievance, or RoG, is the icing on the fucked-over-acknowledged-cake. 

A startling cat ditty

September 27, 2020 - 08:59 -- Admin

I have a deeply ingrained habit of singing nonsense; yes, that does make sense. I'm oft seated with tablet in play musically burbling like a happy chicken as they dance upon morning grass.

For some reason my auto brain decided it was a duet with my cat and since can't sing I subbed for her.

"MEW, MEW, MEW, MEW-MEW, MEW-MEW, MEW" I sang-yelled lustily in cat mode freaking out anyone near in our small house.

Sad food

September 26, 2020 - 13:07 -- Admin

Our chickens don't like to be cuddled so if you attempt it the trick is to offer food, in this case spoiled grapes. We call it sad food, so sad grapes, because they're sad but they also get food. If they eat it then they eat begrudgingly and disdain. 

I cuddled the brown Silkie and she did not want the grapes, even when I threw them down and plopped her on the ground.

But I do heartedly suspect she would have done so had the offering not been so fowl...

Fighting ghosts

September 25, 2020 - 21:46 -- Admin

I spent half an hour fighting ghosts in my shed. They come out there then next thing I know I'm fulminating, hissing venom at phantoms past.

I realised I had my head level as if all the people who'd thugged me were my height and that has never been the case; taller, always taller, sneering looking down. So I yelled at a box on the top shelf. 

I worked myself into apoplexy then snagged on reality that yelling at things thirty years gone wasn't helping.

Fake better than real

September 21, 2020 - 22:11 -- Admin

Since about year 12 I've had sound playing at night. First classical music, then a fan then white noise on a smartphone. The mix I use the most is heavy rain, thunder and train, over 400 days total runtime.

Tonight there was a storm and great flashes of lightning ripped. I didn't know how close a peal would follow and my fight flight kicked in, having to gird myself on each for a likely loud as holy fuck noise sent by the universe to smote me.

Broken arm blues

September 15, 2020 - 23:20 -- Admin

I don't have my arm in a sling; I just have be careful in what I pick up or hold and how I do it.

Don't, for example, pick up a mini heater with spread-eagled fingers.

Or hold on to the grab bar in the shower with the broken arm then lean over, bearing your weight through that arm.

Don't push yourself up with it; that's a corker.