The black cat sits upon my raised knee when I'm on the couch. From her seated position sometimes she tries to lick my nipple. I'm guessing it is because I wear thin shirts and my nipple protrudes enough to draw the eye ... and tongue. It is genuinely unsettling.
I was taking a plate to the kitchen when I bumped into the fridge and the plate jammed into my nipple---like right into it. It fucking hurt.