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Articles from Harrangue Man

Discharge

May 22, 2018 - 19:09 -- Admin

I got a result off the delve and was not expecting it. I got lost in an immediate return to the horror and my brain erupted on the quiet. I started crying, not big sobs, just tears running down my face. I've been steeped in it for so long that to get a result has made me happy and deepy wretched. It's an insane reaction to have.

Post delve dreaming

May 22, 2018 - 12:40 -- Admin

The dream was a cacophony of horror involving work, childhood and trying to meet a deadline without having started the project. It was as if yesterday's active thinking and reflection was put into a blender then poured into my subconscious.I woke in a state of anxiety, immediately sorted out a business hours issue and only then processed what happened.

Tomes re-opened

May 21, 2018 - 18:36 -- Admin

In every attempt to delve into the horrors of Cthulhu mythos there's likely someone you missed the first time round. You may have to do a re-read; make another roll to research it right. Then take a whack to your Sanity percentage.

The finger test

May 19, 2018 - 20:59 -- Admin

This morning I held my hand up and watched to see what it do. Within seconds it happened, my index finger twitched. It kicked up just enough that if I was holding something but not gripping with intent then I would have dropped it. I waited to see if it would happen again and there was another after thirty seconds.Close up observed finger betrayal.

Screed read

May 19, 2018 - 14:41 -- Admin

I was reading about the alt-right, a bubble of white who think they are a race by dint of the presence of all colours, and decided to plough through Elliot Rodger's "manifesto". ER was a 22-year-old who shot some people and ran them down with a car in 2014 because of his feelings about the world and what it owed to him.It was a dense read and took a few hours but there were some take-aways from it.First sorry to his victims and all the hurt for my reading his tome.

The key test

May 19, 2018 - 00:32 -- Admin

All I had to do to leave for the night was to lock the shed door. I picked up the key, walked three steps then my fingers opened and the key dropped.I spent the next 20 minutes looking for it, crying as I did because my injury stole my hands from me.

The paper test

May 18, 2018 - 16:15 -- Admin

I have a day calendar in the shed that is A6 in size, about that of a hand.A mental health nurse friend told me one of their diagnostics was the paper test where you drape a sheet of paper over a hand and watch it to determine if the person has hand tremours. I put yesterday's calendar page on my right hand and willed my hand to still.I could not. Though it didn't fall the page lightly danced atop my quivering hand.It's fucked having your body betray you.

Post psych shakes

May 18, 2018 - 11:33 -- Admin

It's common to have an uptick in symptoms the day after a psych chat, especially when you have to talk horrors like the recent deep delve and a side convo about childhood molestation ... at the hands of a psychologist.I had to do a DASS again, the 42 one, and it was mostly a result of "1" where you sometimes experience the symptom. There was one "3" which is always which is hand tremour.

I just want to say...

May 17, 2018 - 22:10 -- Admin

It was at the end of the meeting when I stood up intending to thank people for all their efforts.I wear my pants high, above my waist, and it was an elasticated waist band. As I stood and spoke I could feel them slip. So I announced to the room "I just want to say ... my pants are falling down" as I then clutched them before they dropped then pulled them back up past my waist. Everyone laughed, as well they should, and I still got to thank the people I wanted to thank.

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