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Articles from Harrangue Man

Stuck my head in an ants nest

March 1, 2021 - 00:22 -- Admin

In the '80s I loved The A-Team and any of their tat. As a war-obsessed tween the best was an awesome-as-shit plastic rifle that could be break apart into useful chunks like just the scope or as a pistol. 

I did not own one. But my friend did and he lived on a piece of arid scrub.

He let me use it when we played war.

Bed kick

February 17, 2021 - 22:37 -- Admin

There was clothing outside my door and I flicked it into my room with my foot. My foot kept going and the midpoint of a big toe struck the underside of the wooden bed frame.

I yelled with Falstaffian gust.

I thought I’d broken it and for the next two minutes I suffered the exquisite afterglow of an exceptional toe blow.

Fuck me.

Cockblocked a frog

February 11, 2021 - 20:57 -- Admin

It's hump time for tunnelling frogs and if there's moisture come dusk they will trill sextalk to the ladies to come join them in their underground lairs.

It's noisy as fuck. For me, who does not like frogs or their noises, it's especially unsettling and compounded by childhood trauma.

Bird screaming

February 11, 2021 - 12:04 -- Admin

The other day I lost at some birds in a car park. All they were doing was singing, though some of them were Cockatoos and were murder-shrieking, but the intensity of the noise smashed through my PTSD defences and punched my fear centre in the nuts.

So, I screamed back. I screamed at them to shut the fuck up. I screamed questions at them as to why they were making so much noise.

Envy green

January 11, 2021 - 23:02 -- Admin

I watch people who make up and I'm jealous. I'm jealous that I didn't get that; I just got fucking bollocked and then I'd get bollocked again.

I was piece of shit who wasn't worth the effort. 

I sat on my bed, fat tears rolling, because I never had it.

Nature loads the gun and nurture fires it until the magazine goes dry.

Accidentally named a piece of clothing

January 5, 2021 - 21:01 -- Admin

As a person in a long-term relationship I have learned there are certain stress points. It's different though similar for most but for me it's naming clothes.

There's this arsehole Joe Abecrombie who is so great it makes my head blow. In his fantasy world when a fighter hits about ninth level they become a "named man"; a title bestowed after a epic win and or fail that gives that fighter a kewl name such as "Ninefingers". Ladies, I presume, can also be named.

Death by china

January 3, 2021 - 15:19 -- Admin

We moved around furniture and my spot is next to the kitchen where plates are kept in a drying rack.

I can't see it and unless forewarned the sharp crack of crockery on crockery is scary as shit and I typically yell with fright and scream "What the fuck was that?!"

Hyperaccocius and PTSD caused by workplace injury an injury still present years on; the conditions that allowed my injury still in place. 

I skulked off to my room and put white noise on.