"It's a pain you can't describe," Raylene Nixon says quietly.
"It's something that you feel deeper than a broken heart - it's pain in your soul."
In 2021, she sat in a sterile room and watched Australian police footage of her son's death in real time, as he gasped for air and pleaded for help.
"Choke him out," one officer can be heard yelling in the body camera video, before another places Steven Nixon-McKellar in a chokehold.
Moments later, the 27-year-old Aboriginal man lost consciousness. Paramedics failed to resuscitate him, as his throat was obstructed by vomit.